Author: Hannah Long

Do you ever feel like you have had successes, but are undeserving of them? That soon people are going to realise that you are not as good as they think you are? There’s been a mistake; I’ve got here by sheer serendipitous luck and I’m a fraud. Am I really going to submit this manuscript to a journal? Doing so will mean that people have hard evidence that I’m stupid and I don’t know what I’m doing. What happens when I present my research and the entire academic community realises it’s a shambles? They’ll see that I’m useless and there’s nothing I’ll be able to do about it because they’ll be right!

Many of us have experienced feelings like these before. They are known as imposter feelings. Approximately 70% of us will have had similar thoughts at one time or another. There is the feeling that, at any moment, someone is going to tap you on the shoulder and say “it’s over, we’d like you to leave”. For some people, these feelings persist and can develop into an imposter syndrome – a psychological phenomenon whereby people feel themselves to be frauds, undeserving of their success and at risk of being exposed.

The imposter syndrome is particularly common in academia because people are regularly tested, graded and ranked. It is in this environment that I have experience of it. I felt like a very average student during my Bachelor’s degree. But my ‘luck’ changed during my Master’s degree and, from the depths of my very average brain, I squeezed out just enough drops of intelligence to complete my degree with Distinction. I left the comforting arms of structured education and began a series of short posts as a Research Assistant, before embarking upon a PhD. In these positions, I joined teams of real academics and real researchers and fast realised that, despite my unexpected success in my Master’s, I was in over my head. How could I possibly expect to keep up when I shouldn’t have even made it this far? Sooner or later, they were all going to realise that I was not what I appeared to be.

Fortunately for me, around the time that I was experiencing these imposter feelings, the University hosted an internationally-recognised researcher, public speaker and expert in the imposter syndrome. Hugh Kearns delivers lectures on the imposter syndrome at universities across the world and his talk shed some light and advice on what is a common phenomenon.

During his talk, Hugh described two cruxes of the imposter syndrome. Firstly, you can never admit it. If you confess your suspicions by saying “I feel like a fraud” then there is a strong chance that someone will clock on and say “well, actually, now that you mention it, we agree”. So it is safer to keep quiet and to continue to suffer in silence, but then your feelings linger. Secondly, the imposter syndrome is impervious to evidence. You could have reams of evidence to the contrary; degree certificates, glowing references, publications, hundreds of Nobel prizes – it won’t matter, the imposter feelings will remain. Not only this, but you can almost always explain those achievements away – it was luck, the right exam questions came up, someone helped me, and I got away with it (again). It is easy to see how imposter feelings can take hold and fester.

Hugh offered some light advice on how to manage your imposter feelings. The first step is to recognise that imposter feelings are normal and common, particularly in new situations. New beginnings are a time when imposter feelings may be most strongly felt. If you know these feelings will appear during times of change, you can be gentler with yourself – “okay, in a few weeks’ time these feelings will hopefully have subsided”. A second step is to realise that they are feelings and not facts. Just because you feel something does not make it true. Thirdly, mind your language and don’t discount or discredit your achievements. When something good happens, don’t say “oh, it was nothing”, because you will have worked hard to achieve that something. Instead, say “thank you” and acknowledge your accomplishment.

There was one particular piece of advice that stuck in my mind – to set objective and realistic targets and not to move the goalposts after the event. You could get 80% in an exam, win a prize for your teaching or research, or have a journal article accepted by Nature or The Lancet – but this doesn’t mean you have to do this every time. The bar does not have to be permanently raised. Instead, keep it at a more realistic level. Similarly, acknowledge and accept that mistakes are a normal part of life, so nurture an attitude that lets you slip up every so often and move on.

A further piece of advice is to know your imposter moments. If you can predict when you are going to feel like an imposter – when you speak in public, when you make a mistake, when you sit down to write – you can prepare for it. Knowing in advance can help you to rationalise it in the moment. Some amount of making peace and getting used to your imposter feelings is needed because, unfortunately, they may never go away – “here we go again, but it’s not too bad, let’s just get on with it”. Adopting this attitude may become necessary, so that your imposter feelings do not hold you back from pursuing new opportunities. Lastly, for those of us for whom the imposter syndrome causes significant issues to self-esteem, job performance and job satisfaction, Hugh recommended seeking professional support (e.g. cognitive behavioural therapy, coaching or mentoring) to help reduce imposter feelings.

When you fear being exposed as a fraud, call it out for what it is – an imposter feeling. To name it is to begin to take control over it and to acknowledge it as a complex – but manageable – issue.

@hannahlong_hl