Wet Wet Wet were on the money with ‘Love Is All Around’ – the idea that humans are designed to come in pairs is almost inescapable. Films and books are laced with romantic liaisons. Musicians wax lyrical falling in love (or lust), heartbreak and toxic exes. Magazine covers promise tips for ‘The Best Sex You’ve Ever Had’ and advertisers tell us we ‘must-have’ their product or we’ll never even get a partner to try out all the sex tips on.

Romantic relationships are apparent from a young age. At my primary school faux weddings regularly occurred at break time and kiss chase was a playground staple. I discovered Grease as a pre-teen and, despite the questionable moral message, it’s still one of my favourites. A lot of it went over my head at the time – it was a revelation when I realised, watching as an adult, that it was a condom Kenickie breaks while ‘parked’ with Rizzo. Not, as I had previously reasoned, a lucky bracelet. What didn’t escape me though was the flirtation and fun that characters not much older than me were experiencing.

But what if you never get to experience romance? Or you are actively discouraged from doing so? Spared the lows, yes, but also missing out on the highs; excluded from something supposedly ubiquitous? People who experience psychosis may find themselves in such a position, especially since first episodes are often experienced during adolescence.

Psychosis is characterised by the experience of hallucinations and delusions. Experiencing such symptoms may cause people to become withdrawn and make engaging with others challenging. Additionally, people who experience psychosis often experience discrimination, stigma and low self-esteem. Hardly a recipe for dating success. It’s unsurprising, then, that a study which asked people with serious mental illness to rate the quality of various aspects of their lives found that ‘satisfaction with sexual relationships’ scored the lowest of the lot.

According to developmental psychology, during our formative adolescent years there are various milestones, including our first intimate relationships. They teach us the dos and don’ts (usually the hard way) of adult relationships and give us the opportunity to work out what we want in the future and what we will not tolerate. In this way, every relationship is important for our personal development.

Johnny Cash wrote a much better song than Wet Wet Wet about ‘A Thing Called Love’. He mused:

It can lift you up,

Never let you down,

Take your world and turn it all around,

Ever since time, nothing’s ever been found,

That’s stronger than love.

It’s true. Love can make you or break you. Yet whenever we’ve been treated badly, had our heart broken and our confidence knocked, when we’re all cried out over an ex we’ll never take back, generally, we’re always willing to give love another chance.

Research has shown that people who experience psychosis associate romantic relationships with recovery and ‘normality’ – which seems pretty logical given that such relationships are so embedded within our society. Yet mental health services seem to routinely neglect this area of peoples’ lives.

I first noticed this whilst working as a support worker. Information about service users’ desire for romantic relationships was absent from their paperwork but not from their conversations. The people I supported wanted romantic relationships but were stuck when it came to achieving them. It was strange to me that while we were busy care planning every other inch of people’s lives, when it came to romance, we suddenly became coy.

These conversations inspired my research, which aims to explore romantic relationships in the context of psychosis. It’s still an emerging area of research but, I believe, an essential one. From a humanitarian perspective, improving recovery from psychosis is important. Everyone should have the opportunity to experience supportive and loving relationships. Indeed, a stable, long-term romantic relationship may even lead to better recovery for those who experience psychosis.

The Beatles sang ‘Love Is All You Need’. And while the reality for people experiencing psychosis is almost certainly more complex than this message from four hedonistic hippies, it’s definitely worth further investigation. Within my PhD I have interviewed mental health professionals to find out why it’s so challenging to support people with psychosis regarding romantic relationships and I also plan to interview people who experience psychosis to find out what support – if any – they want from mental health services. Ultimately I hope my findings will be used to inform meaningful interventions in the future.

By Beccy White