Have you noticed that people are weirdly enthused about the Kon Mari method of de-cluttering? Maybe you yourself are a convert? I hate tidying. So I thought the Netflix series seemed vaguely absurd. But I was quickly drawn in. I read the book – just out of curiosity too. And I think I’ve started to grasp what people mean by ‘Kon Mari changed my life’, or that they feel ‘released’. I have come to believe the “life changing magic” isn’t really to do with the tidying at all, but to do with learning to STOP something most people probably don’t even realise they are doing, a fruitless and energy intensive task – overthinking their possessions.
Identifying and disengaging from fruitless and energy intensive overthinking, is also the aim of metacognitive therapy (MCT) and (it’s sub-component) the attention training technique (ATT). I want to tell you about how Kon Mari changed my relationship with my stuff, and with my thinking, and how it’s similar to the attention training technique and MCT.
Disclaimer: Do not substitute Kon Mari for actual psychological therapy, nor use ATT to learn to fold t-shirts so they stand up on their own. So satisfying!
A dysfunctional and stressful approach to de-cluttering
I have strong hoarding tendencies, I have a biscuit tin which is over 18 years old, I wear my socks until my toes escape, then to avoid waste I use the socks as rags before throwing them away (I wash them first mind you! I don’t infuse all my DIY projects with foot sweat!).
Past me:
Me: Trousers! You’re a bit worn out, and actually not a style I like, and furthermore I haven’t worn you for definitely over a year, I should definitely get rid of you…
Obviously, this is totally ridiculous, and it makes you wonder what I am like when I have something proper to worry about! Actually, I’m relatively alright with that.
Now what? The KonMari way.
Marie Kondo says stop doing all that. Just ask if it sparks joy for you. What does spark joy mean? Just try it, experience it, and you’ll figure it out.
Behold:
Me: Does this pair of trousers spark joy. Hmmm…. No! Good work trousers you have been… trousers! Next item!
(Okay so I still haven’t quite got the hang of “thanking the items for their good service” Marie Kondo advocates. Marie Kondo assumes people anthropomorphise their belongings, and suggests having a nicer relationship with them. I suppose if you are going to anthropomorphise your stuff you might as well enjoy it.)
How is this similar to metacognitive theory? Can metacognitive therapy help me decide whether to discard my trousers?
Metacognitive therapy (MCT) and the Attention Training Technique (ATT) developed by Professor Adrian Wells of University of Manchester, also help people to cease from overthinking – the cognitive attentional syndrome (or ‘the CAS’). About 6 months after discovering Kon Mari I started a job delivering ATT to people with psychosis, as part of the study “Investigation into Attention Training Technique for psychosis”, run by Dr Sophie Parker of Greater Manchester Mental Health NHS Foundation Trust. Explaining to clients how to cease ‘the CAS’ is tricky, you can’t just tell someone what to do. Similar to Marie Kondo’s suggestion to first just feel what ‘sparks joy’ to understand. The ATT therapist first gets the client to experience leaving a thought alone, within the ATT audio exercise, once they have just done it, point it out, and start to generalise from this.
Applying ATT to my trousers dilemma, the whole conversation with the trousers is ‘the CAS’. If people can identify their CAS, and that they have control over this process, they often want to reduce it. If people are keen to keep worrying, maybe with ‘positive beliefs about worry’ (e.g. ‘I need to think carefully about what to keep and discard or I will regret it and it will be terrible’), we encourage leaving the worrying thought alone just as an experiment initially to see what it’s like.
A lot of mental health support (understandably) focuses on ‘coping techniques’; doing a ‘special thing’ in order to cope. In a crisis, coping techniques have a lot of value. But sometimes in the long term it’s best to stop doing something, not to do something extra. Just like with the tidying; “the moment you start focusing on how to choose what to throw away” (a strategy) “you have veered significantly off course”.
So can I use ATT to help me declutter?
Even if it’s a really weird intrusive thought (by the way these are really common), I often have an intrusive thought to throw my keys into the drain, its just a thought, don’t worry about it!
Finally , please note some strange and interesting things said in the Marie Kondo books:
Throw away almost all papers.
Please don’t take this section too literally if you are a researcher or a student.
Have only 3 categories for papers: to deal with, contracts to save, other documents to save.
But Marie, why would I mix letters and receipts in with Uni documents?
If you organise your wardrobe with your clothes rising to the right the cells of your body will buzz with energy and this energy will be transmitted to your clothes.
I do not understand the mechanism, as a scientist I find this deeply troubling. By contrast, there is some nice brain science regarding neurological mechanisms behind MCT.
If your screwdriver doesn’t spark joy, talk to it and shower it with praise and compliments, and tell it it’s stylish.
?!?
In conclusion
So although some parts of the Marie Kondo books are totally bonkers, they helped me to stop a mental process that was counterproductive and energy intensive, and if you like the ‘less is more’ approach, maybe read more about attention training technique and MCT.
Additional links and further reading:
Frontiers special issue on metacognitive therapy
Images in text:
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